open heart surgery. (part 2)

Continued from part 1. I realize there is a lot of all caps-ing and italicizing here and the grammar isn't up to par. I am just trying to be as true to how I wrote it down by hand in my diary. Emotions and the Lord's voice flowing onto the page. Freeform.



REALIZATION!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Lord! GUILT, ELIZABETH, IS NOT YOUR CORE HEART STRUGGLE, IT IS ONLY A BRANCH COMING FROM THE TRUNK, ONLY A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE. YOU CARRY A LOT OF FALSE GUILT BASED ON A FALSE SYSTEM.

YOUR STANDARD: THE LAW OF APPROVAL.
YOUR JUDGE: THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, ANYONE YOU COME IN CONTACT WITH.

IF THEY APPROVE YOU, YOU FEEL SINFUL PRIDE & ARROGANCE & SUPERIORITY, & FALSE SECURITY.

IF THEY DISAPPROVE OF YOU, YOU DROP WITH THE WEIGHT OF GUILT, YOU HAVE BEEN JUDGED UNWORTHY.

"You hide me in the shelter of your tabernacle..."

What you need, Elizabeth, is a HEART TRANSPLANT. Deep at the core. Your system needs to be replaced. Because the current system in you is sending toxic blood out to all your limbs, so that your mind is affected & it makes decisions (schedule, boundaries) based on a FAULTY SYSTEM. Your arms are affected, so that they bear loads they don't need to bear. Your feet are affected so that they walk in ways based on the decision to please people first in your process of decision-making. Pleasing people is the number one, the first filter, in your process of decision-making, and not pleasing me, the master whose yoke gives freedom--not slavery, as the yoke of human approval does.

And what, Elizabeth, is the motivation behind your system you've set up? Fear, not faith. That is really THE CORE ISSUE. Deeper, even, than the people pleasing.

Yes, my way will lead through pain in this life. Yes, you will be ridiculed and thought stupid.

BUT DO YOU TRUST ME ENOUGH TO WALK THROUGH THIS VALLEY WITH ME, KNOWING THAT THE DISTANT MOUNTAINTOPS WILL BE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL FOR THE JOURNEY?

IS YOUR TREASURE TRULY IN HEAVEN, OR IS IT, IN FEAR, HERE WHERE YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY SEE IT WITH YOUR EARTHLY EYES?

DO YOU BELIEVE FOR REAL THAT WHAT IS UNSEEN IS REALITY (NOT JUST "MORE REAL") AND THAT WHAT IS SEEN IS TEMPORARY & FADING?

Please, Lord, remind me of times I knew as a child before I learned this system.




To be continued...